broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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