sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Go christen that room with your naked body.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize