He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
