No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
