check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
