If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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