Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
