Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm just crazy horny about you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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