hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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