I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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