Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
