they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
