i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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