I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
