You really coming over, don't trick.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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