He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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