New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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