I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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