i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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