It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
