My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
