Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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