It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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