Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
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She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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