I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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