Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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