Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
