u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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