Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
