I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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