She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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