Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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