forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
