I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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