You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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