Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
