Pappa wants mamma naked
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
