Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
