if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
