i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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