The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
