This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
