he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize