someone get that fucking seahorse.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
