the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
