Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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