at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
