he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
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He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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