Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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