So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
