come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
