google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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