Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
