i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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