yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
organizing the empties. That sober.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
