Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
