dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Randomize
