Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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