His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
