what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
