He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
