I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
