Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
