the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
