the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
